There is constant conflict within my mind, I assume for everyone in this world there is. But introspection is something that could to certain extent clear some of these conflicts. I say some of them because not all of them can be answered till we have personally tried it for ourselves (The road less travelled).

I think I was always finding for something which could liberate from the regular routine, the rats race which I has become a part of and yet hated it to the core of my heart. I always wished to be someone like one of mark twains books characters like tom sawyer or Huckleberry Finn. I remember reading the book when I was kid and was fascinated by how someone could spend their time doing what they liked so much without a caring an ounce about the world around them. More than Tom I liked Huckleberry Finn for his free spirited nature. But I guess ended up being like Tom Sawyer who got an education and a regular job of a software engineer (it’s just an analogy). I am not criticizing all those who have the same life just that I don’t find it satisfying enough, don’t feel I do something that gives me goose bump or that I have made a difference in the world today.

I always wanted a life changing experience, work with people, do something that was basic. But I eventually got caught in the turmoil of being born in a middle class family and responsibility of satisfying my parents, living up to their expectation, having the 9-6 job and then come home and spend time with family. In fact the whole inspiration behind writing this piece is looking at people around me. I just observed people around me who are so engrossed in the work that they do. Do they or do they not feel the need to do something more than this, stretch their human capabilities to benefit others or at least explore the world around them. I was surprised to here that in span of one and half years of them living in Mumbai or also of having reached age where you are capable of taking you own decisions they had never been on a trek. I felt doesn’t their inner sense coax them to do something apart from their regular routine, go into the wild and explore the unknown. I have not found myself yet but have they even tried doing that. I am not trying to be judgmental but you can figure out things to a certain extent being around with them.

I have realized my dream is to be close to the mountains constantly exploring newer paradises working with local inhabitants and helping them to build a self sustainable society. Probably it’s an excuse to run away from something or just one of my temporary phases in life. I just got the new found energy and encouragement to tell my parents that I wanted to lead a life which did not demand me to crave for money or to constantly follow the thousands and millions who are already there and feel desperate about not being able to do anything or like some of them who at the fag end of their life would realize that they have not done anything significant for the very mankind they have been part of. My decision has been taken only execution is awaited.

But is this what I am doing something extra ordinary or is it something I choose not to be part of the mainstream section of society. Who am I to decide whether people who I have seen being part of this genre to be the ordinary or proclaim people who thoughts similar to mine to be the extra ordinary or people who have already done great things to be extra ordinary.

I think I have found what I want and hope to be there in sometime without having assumptions about people who don’t tread the road I do.